About
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Lorraine Grace
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Many couples come to their first session claiming to have communication problems.
My observation is that the vast majority of couples can actually communicate very well. The problem is with the perception of what their partner is saying to them. It seems the message they are receiving isn’t coming in clearly. They misperceive each other, assuming the other is being thoughtless or unkind or ignoring their needs. That is the real problem.
Correct the perception and the relationship has a chance.
When we help couples see their own perception of their partner, they become better communicators. Or, as I like to say, ‘They can begin to fight fair’. There really is a simple approach to saving marriages and it works
In some ways, we were automatically ‘set up’ to have difficulties in our marriages.
After living with one or both or our parents for almost 20 years, we became well trained in relationships. The problem was, some of these relationships had their own unique difficulties. When we witnessed this, we may have absorbed these ways of communicating or ‘unfair fighting’ simply through osmosis. Yep, learned behaviour.
Your early environment has a lot to do with how you interpret emotional safety.
Your care-giver was your 1st primary love interest for many years. Your response to emotional safety, or lack thereof, finds it’s way over to the next primary, long-term relationship. In this new love interest, you unconsciously project your unmet core needs, from childhood, onto the other person, in an unconscious hope to fix what you were unable to fix when you were a child. Remember, this is all unconscious. That’s why it’s difficult to sort out these problems on your own. Add to the equation your partners’ unmet core needs, from their childhood, and you have a perfect storm.
The good news is, this perfect storm can be used for good, if you’re willing to have a deeper look at your unmet needs. You can learn how to communicate these to your partner, using trust and transparency, with the help of your counsellor. I witness countless couples regain deep affection, trust and respect once they clearly understand the pain of the other. Most couples really do love each other. If they didn’t they wouldn’t come in for counselling.
Changed behaviour starts once hearts are safely re-connected.
Are you ready to re-connect with your partner at a much deeper, more safer level?
Contact us now for a free 20 min phone consult to discuss your needs. 0418 220 524
With over 20 years experience, which includes over 17,000 hours of face to face, On Line, Face-Time and phone counselling,
Lorraine has helped couples, families, children and groups successfully manage or overcome the following:
My observation is that the vast majority of couples can actually communicate very well. The problem is with the perception of what their partner is saying to them. It seems the message they are receiving isn’t coming in clearly. They misperceive each other, assuming the other is being thoughtless or unkind or ignoring their needs. That is the real problem.
Correct the perception and the relationship has a chance.
When we help couples see their own perception of their partner, they become better communicators. Or, as I like to say, ‘They can begin to fight fair’. There really is a simple approach to saving marriages and it works
In some ways, we were automatically ‘set up’ to have difficulties in our marriages.
After living with one or both or our parents for almost 20 years, we became well trained in relationships. The problem was, some of these relationships had their own unique difficulties. When we witnessed this, we may have absorbed these ways of communicating or ‘unfair fighting’ simply through osmosis. Yep, learned behaviour.
Your early environment has a lot to do with how you interpret emotional safety.
Your care-giver was your 1st primary love interest for many years. Your response to emotional safety, or lack thereof, finds it’s way over to the next primary, long-term relationship. In this new love interest, you unconsciously project your unmet core needs, from childhood, onto the other person, in an unconscious hope to fix what you were unable to fix when you were a child. Remember, this is all unconscious. That’s why it’s difficult to sort out these problems on your own. Add to the equation your partners’ unmet core needs, from their childhood, and you have a perfect storm.
The good news is, this perfect storm can be used for good, if you’re willing to have a deeper look at your unmet needs. You can learn how to communicate these to your partner, using trust and transparency, with the help of your counsellor. I witness countless couples regain deep affection, trust and respect once they clearly understand the pain of the other. Most couples really do love each other. If they didn’t they wouldn’t come in for counselling.
Changed behaviour starts once hearts are safely re-connected.
Are you ready to re-connect with your partner at a much deeper, more safer level?
Contact us now for a free 20 min phone consult to discuss your needs. 0418 220 524
With over 20 years experience, which includes over 17,000 hours of face to face, On Line, Face-Time and phone counselling,
Lorraine has helped couples, families, children and groups successfully manage or overcome the following:
- Anger Issues
- Alcohol & Drug Issues
- Body Dis-morphia (Including Anorexia, Bulimia)
- Child Abuse - Physical, Psychological & Sexal
- Depression & Anxiety
- Domestic Violence
- Effects of Sexual Abuse
- Loss & Grief issues
- Parenting Concerns
- Relationship issues
- Self-esteem issues
- Stress & Burnout
- Suicide Prevention & Safety Planning
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